Truth and Lies

Ok so I have to confess, I have missed you.  I have.  I have been wanting to blog and tell you everything but I couldn't.  I was stuck in the "you're not good enough/smart enough/neat enough and yes, white enough" to blog lie.  My past and other lies about who I was, started to creep in with every blog I read from other SAHMs, and with every flawless "selfie" I saw on Instagram.  I started to compare. "Can anything good come from 81st and Hoover?  But my second foster home was in Diamond Bar!"  Yes, these crazy thoughts paralyzed me.  And so I couldn't blog.  All I could do is self medicate with Candy Crush.  And since I've been stuck on level 147 for almost a month, I think it's ok to say that it's not working.  

So, how did I get here?  Well, I casually told my husband why I stopped blogging.  I told him what was on my heart and all the crazy thoughts.  He was shocked .  I was shocked that he was shocked!  Not that I doubted his love and care for me, but his concern for my little blog.  He was concerned about my feelings, my heart.  He was concerned about his wife being attacked with lies from the enemy!  He assured me with his words that felt like his arms had just wrapped around me and pulled me to safety.  He told me to please continue my blog because he loved reading it.  

This experience has taught me some things.  One thing in particular that stands out to me is the power of words.  Whether they are true or not, words can hurt and heal.  

I pray that The Lord will use my words to heal.